Lent 2010

by Once in a Moon

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Lent 2010 saw me attempting to write a song a day. Here are the results. They tie in to my annual lent puzzle (which can be found at weaselspoon.livejournal.com/250549.html ).


released April 28, 2010




Once in a Moon UK

Robert Wells is a dabbler and a potterer residing in South London. This started as a challenge to write a new song every month (hence the name). He is also an actor, artist, technician and librarian.

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Track Name: New Year
There's sixty seconds left til midnight
I've seen a few my love
I've done the Thames, been crushed in Times Square
Crowds below and fireworks above

I've partied in mansions and squats and on beaches
I've even once tried to drink a bar dry
But spending new year in my own back garden
Has been the best and I'll tell you why

It wasn't the pizzas in greased cardboard boxes
It wasn't the hunt for curious foxes
It wasn't the champagne, or even the gin,
It wasn't the place that we were in

I'll tell you now and I'll tell you true,
The thing that makes my heart explode is you
Track Name: Groundhog Day
See that Punxsutawney Phil
Knows the Winter, good or ill
Six score years and going strong
Lucky groundhog lives so long
Watch him poke his nose outside
Hope he doesn't run and hide
Hope that then the clouds are grey
Hope that Spring is here to stay
Tells the hatters good or bad
Never call the hatters mad
Once he's done we all can go
Tell your neighbour what you know
Track Name: Mother's Day (Explicit Lyrics)
We're pirates on the open sea
We fly the jolly roger
The captain says I work all night
Or he'll cut off my todger

So heave ho and haul away
One plunder to another
We fight and we drink and we steal and we kill
But still we love our mothers

The first mate had a nasty fall
From off the highest masthead
He landed on the captain's sword
Which sodomised the bastard

So heave ho and haul away
In one hole and out the other
He may never sit down again
But still he loves his mother

The cabin boy's a lithe young lad
Quick as the artful dodger
He spends his days on his knees on deck
That's why we calls him Roger

So heave ho and haul away
There he'll stay 'til kingdom come
He might not tell her of his life on board
But still he loves his mum

The cook on board's a dirty git
He's loud and fat and grumpy
He'll vomit in the mutton stew
Because it make it lumpy

So heave ho and haul away
He'd roast his only brother
He might be the worst cook in the world
But still he loves his
We all love our
Yes, I loves me
Track Name: April Fool's Day
Have you heard the latest from google?
They've got a thing you can use
Tell your cat to speak to the mike
And it'll tell you it's blues

It'll tell you if it needs feeding
It'll tell you when when it wants a drink
It'll tell you when to pet it and stroke it and scratch it
It'll tell you just what a cat can think

And this miracle doesn't just stick to cats
It can talk to all the things it's supposed ta
It knows dog and duck and mongolian girafe
And also the language of the coat and the toaster

So now you can speak to tiddles
I know your life's just complete
Make sure that you keep your pets feeling happy
Now go give tiddles a treat
Track Name: Father's Day
I dabble in music
I dabble in art
At cross stitch and needlepoint
I've made a start
I don't need awards
Or cheers from the crowd
I just want my father
To say that he's proud
Track Name: Tanabata
I wish for peace
I wish for health
I wish for time
I wish for wealth
I wish in all
Of Fate's design
Just for happiness
Yours and mine
Track Name: Edinburgh
Hi there. How's it going?
I've only got a minute.
I'm on my way and if a taxi comes
I'll have to go and get in it
I've seen three shit plays already today
And I'm heading to number four
Tales of love and loss and pain
And a confession of sex with a door
Comics are dying, flierers fliering
And crowds in everyone's way
And the worst of it all, I paid to be here
An Edinburgh holiday
Track Name: My Birthday (XXX)
XXX 'cause I'm turning thirty
XXX and i'm feeling flirty
XXX must mean i'm sexy
XXX what what happens next?

Just cause I'm getting older doesn't mean I'm grown up
Just like setting off fireworks doesn't make you blown up
Just like cause I've had a drink doesn't mean I've thrown up
So just cause I'm thirty don't, no don't call me grown up

XXX 'cause I'm turning thirty
XXX and i'm feeling flirty
XXX must mean i'm sexy
XXX what what what what happens next?
Track Name: Halloween
Never try to spook a ghost
You'll find they're quite unscarable
Instead of running off in fright
They'll groan, it's most unbearable

Never try to bite a vampire
Although they look quite tasty
You'll find there's not much meat on them
That's why their skin's so pasty
Track Name: Movember
Day 1: Nothing at all
Day 2: Some stubble
Day 3: Could strike a match
Day 4: Girlfriend in trouble

30 days to grow a 'tache
30 days to make a splash
30 days to raise some cash

Day 15: I start to hone it
Day 20: I start to comb it
Day 25: I can curl the ends
Day 30: I've lost all my friends

30 days and I've grown a 'tache
30 days and I've made a splash
30 days and I've raised some cash
Track Name: Christmas
There's not a lot I want this year when Santa comes to town
I don't need socks or handkerchiefs, I've got a dressing gown
No more chocolate for me please, I'm going on a diet
But I've heard a hug makes a lovely gift and I'd dearly like to try it
Track Name: Oscar's Voice
This is music
This is music
This is music
This is music
Track Name: Book I
From the fierce winds of Aeolus
Where we feared total wreckage
Neptune calmed our seas
And we landed in Carthage
The Gods Decreed
That I should be here upon bended knee
Please help us to find the city we are destined to build
And help the prophecies be fulfilled
The future is known only to the gods above
But I will tell you my tale as you gaze in my eyes as we both fall in love
Track Name: Book II
With fear, and hate, and fire, they steal through my Troy
Awoken by ghosts, with father and son I flee
My sweet wife's pale face urging me safe out to sea
Track Name: Book III
First to Antander where we built our fleet
Then off to Thrace where a tree we did greet
Sacred Delos where we heard Apollo's proclamation
A plague on crete stopped the founding of our nation
Strophades seemed a perfect island but the Harpies pecked us
On Buthrotum we gained a route that would not wreck us
On Sicily we met the Cyclops who had lost his one eye
On Drepanum the fates declared my father must die
Track Name: Book IV
In a cave on hill we sheltered from the storm
All alone we tried to keep warm
Our trains and keepers washed away by the weather
Finally chance for we two lovers to be together
Here I stand before you
The truth on my lips oh my love I adore you
My senses left naked, defenses defeated
My heart is open for your eyes have entreated
I cannot escape you are all that matters
Your sweet siren song leaves my duty in tatters
How can so hard a fate be took?
One night enjoyed and the next forsook
We both know
That I must go
Track Name: Book V
Iris calls to the women of troy why not live on Sicilly's shore
Stop this madness, burn their boats, And vow to never never travel more
Proud Aeneas weary too his strength, resolve and courage gone
Pushed by Gods to carry on
Track Name: Book VI
With the golden branch I make my way through the gates of Dis
And Charon takes me cross the stream but leaves behind Palinurus
The wailing souls are deafening while waiting judgement of Minos
The shade of Dido turns from me and holds her husband Sychaeus
Past warriors that run from me and to the hated fortress
Where tortures fierce and judgements true are carried out by Rhadamanthus
To blessed groves where finally I see my father Anchises
I only pray I'll meet him there in years to come in Fields of Gladness
Track Name: Book VII
We finally landed on Italian soil near the land of Latium ruled by Latinus
We asked him begged him let us build our home here He agreed and offered me his daughter's hand
With that his public fury filled rose to follow former favourite Turnus
The gates are opened, Mars inspires, and battle now will rule over this land
Track Name: Book VIII
Seeking out allies I found my way into Arcadia
There I addressed the noble King Evander
He could see my father's face in me and offered out his hand and all services that he could spare to set the world to rights and fight the might that was Latium

Meanwhile Venus is fretting at Vulcan
She asks for armour fit for her son
Cyclopes in Etna are put to the task

Meanwhile King Evander says take my son my Pallas and take him from a skinny waif into a warrior but first a package from that volcano Etna

With armour like this I could take on the Latins slay the Turnus creature
Armour like this with depictions of future history as a feature
Let us march, the time has come to fight and turn you boys to men
Track Name: Book IX
When Iris comes to tell you Aeneas is away
You know the time is right to strike
But their fort is defended
Nevermind, we'll burn their boats instead

Hahaha Heeheehee You thought you'd burn us
But we turned into sea nymphs so bugger off dear Turnus

Fuck You
This means war and we will conquer
We will meet them, fight them
Drive them back to base
I will slice them, dice them
Kill them right in the face
If the numbers get too much for me
Though chance of that is very slim
I will drop right off their battlements
And go and have a little swim
Track Name: Book X
There is joy to be found when two heroes meet
Upon the hallowed battlefield
Once they have stepped from their fleet
And taken sword and shield
They square face to face
In this infernal place
And begin a dance of grace
Each thrust is always parried
You watch the blades fly
Two perfect fighters married
It seems a shame they both must die
Track Name: Book XI
When the fight is finally done the sun still rises over head
To let those with eyes survey their wounded and their dead
They mourn, the grief
A pain beyond belief
But still they live with hearts heavy as lead
But what else should they do instead?

But what if anger can not be contained?
Or restrained?

They killed my friend
They killed my son
They killed my love
They killed my hope
They must not live
They can not live
We live through hate
We can't forgive
Fetch a sword
Fetch a shield
Fetch a bow
Fetch a spear
Fetch me anything you can
To help me kill my enemy
My enemy
A man like me
Who walks and talks and breathes
Let me mourn my friend
For we all know this war must end
Track Name: Book XII
All rejoice, all rejoice
We have much to celebrate
With Turnus dead at my own hands
I have brought peace to all this land

All rejoice, all rejoice
We have much to celebrate
The Trojan race can settle here
And live a life without our fear

All rejoice, all rejoice
Our long journey finally is at an end
And now we live where , once our enemies, the Latins are now our friends

All rejoice, all rejoice
All that happens must happen for the best
And now I'm home, a bed to call my own, finally, Gods, let me rest