25 Years in 25 Songs in 25 Hours

by Robert Wells

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1.
1988 01:02
I remember the day And knowing it's coming I couldn't wait The first red nose day I asked my mum if I could stay up late A day at school without a uniform A plastic nose to keep my real nose warm Aching to get away back to my home Then I crash upon the sofa and I turn the TV on and then they say You know you can't phone now I know you want to give and I know it's hard You know you can't phone now You need to be eighteen with a credit card Alas you can't phone now Though Lenny Henry's telling you to give it all You know you can't phone now Just wait a decade then you can make that call
2.
1989 01:00
Something's gotten hold of my eyes Infinite channels beamed down from the sky Something's gotten lodged in my brain Watching the same shows again and again Making me smile Making me frown Bringing me up Dragging me down
3.
1990 01:46
It's been seven hours and fifteen days Waiting for this page to load Watching a spinning ball go round and round Still it doesn't load Sitting here waiting thinking about that bastard Tim Berners-Lee He did a little coding and put up a hello world It's still there for everyone to see But nothing compares Nothing compares to youtube Nothing compares Nothing compares to youtube
4.
1991 01:13
One day, you're fighting with a monkey that someone called a donkey He put you through it And you were doing it the way you do it And then they take you to a kingdom A princess that needs saving You stomp on koopas You are the Mario super You are the one and only The plumber who saves the peach You are the one and only Though she's always out of reach You are the one and only Fuelled on coins and shrooms You are the one and only And you will bring on Bowser's doom
5.
1992 01:08
Deftly Disney in the middle East Poor young boy staring as rich men feast Pretty princess is a firebrand Genie says "Take him by the hand" Oh my love, riding high the land unfurls Oh my love, join me as we see a whole new world
6.
1993 01:06
Well they sent out Kirk in the Enterprise and he kissed the aliens Jean Luc Picard he baldly went out into space We thought it was over, but the fans they all said no There's still more places left to boldly go Let's boldly go there All that they want is another series So off to deep space All that they want is a bit of Sisko All that they want is another series And then another All that they want is another series
7.
1994 01:02
Saturday night and those pants are looking tight On you baby Come back to bed and I'll leave you dressing light Sorry baby Saturday night and I like the way it looks On you baby Now it's been snipped on my mantle's where it's stuck Pretty baby
8.
1995 00:46
Tiny boy, tiger toy Thought to himself oops I've got some chores to do Got me some plans to brew There's a duplicator so I'll see you later And I'll play all day while you do all the stuff Don't think one clone is enough They'll all make more Bursting through the door So I live with a clone and a clone and a clone and another A lot of little boys and they're closer than a brother Got to get them gone so I'll fiddle with the duplicator Make it transmogrify turn them all into flies see 'em later
9.
1996 00:47
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want So tell me what you want, what you really really want I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want So tell me what you want, what you really really want I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna really really really want to catch a Mewtwo If you wanna beat me Better level up You know the aim To collect 'em up You'll need a Squirtle it isn't hard Watch your back I'll burn you With my Charizard I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want So tell me what you want, what you really really want I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want So tell me what you want, what you really really want I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna really really really want to catch a Mewtwo
10.
1997 01:08
There's a boy you've heard about who is strangely scarred He's led a life where he never read Beedle the Bard A Hairy guy comes bustling in to take him on a train A whole new world of wizards, life will never be the same Potter, Harry Potter He's the one we've been waiting for Potter, Harry Potter He's the one who'll beat Voldemort Potter, Harry Potter He'll find a way Potter, Harry Potter He'll save the day
11.
1998 00:40
Four colours on your CRT On your CRT a minesweeper game Your OS it's mostly the same But you'll buy it again and again Major system update Windows 98 You hope to integrate Windows 98 Everybody needs a pretty GUI Everybody needs a gooey
12.
1999 00:53
Dear Georgie baby My childhood's in your hands I've got a bad feeling Oh Georgie baby It's set in familiar lands But it's just sent me reeling Show me My familiar trilogy And don't change it Cause you know I know that Han shoots first Your ghost menace is killing me But I, I still have hope, I still believe You've got two parts left to fix this stink Do the right thing Kill that bastard Jar Jar Binks
13.
2000 00:57
A beagle dog with a birdie chum In the garden of a boy who's glum Charge at the ball when the girl says start Can you kick it? No you can't Patty's loud, Marcie's not Schroeder loves his music Linus loves his blanket You'll never make him lose it Charlie Brown he needs something He deserves something happening right Maybe now he will speak to her Maybe he will say tonight is the night I just want to kiss the redhead But I can't even say her name When's it going to stop, redhead? Cause it's making me feel so lame
14.
2001 01:06
You spend your life hawking books Now they're worthless You say the height of the truth We do better You say all that you need But we need more You say we hold the keys We say no sir You say chance of abuse We say fudge you You say people are dumb But we're smarter You need pro editors But we do fine You say we need to pay Now we're richer We are the wiki We keep on growing Encyclopedic All of the knowing We are the wiki Open the knowledge Totally free But we like when you pledge
15.
2002 00:33
A little communication A little less verbage Tell my arm to move Without no wordage A little more spark Between our arms Step out of the dark And into my charms Feel my skin, my bone, my blood, my heart Electrify me Electrify me Electrify me
16.
2003 01:10
Every flight was perfect joy Then suddenly I lost my toy I wish I could go around Take a trip at the speed of sound You were beautiful no matter what they say But they still brought you down You were beautiful in every single way And they still brought you down But don't bring me down today
17.
2004 01:12
Baby can't you see Your request I've not replied You haven't guessed You're dangerous Without rest Your face Lack of friends I add you It all ends Do you understand? Oh the curse of your friendship on my life You're toxic, I'd be lost Oh desertion of friends I won't allow I'm disgusted by you Can't you see that you're toxic? Oh the curse of your friendship on my life You're toxic, I'd be lost Oh desertion of friends I won't allow I'm disgusted by you Can't you see that you're toxic?
18.
2005 01:23
Do you remember how it used to be? You could have a conversation with nothing to see Now each time we start to chat You tell me about that video of a super cute cat And I know that you just want to share You're reaching for your phone because you care And we're watching the dial go round Loading it three times before we get sound And it's holding up our life And I wanted you for my wife Can't you see that it will kill us? I'm surprised that there is still us
19.
2006 01:22
When you first found me You brought me to the fold Though I was cold You were that bold Then you left me Out in the dark Like a dog in the park Left alone to bark I was so lost back then But I found a few new friends I realised that your brush wasn't the end Now you're calling me a dwarf And you're saying that it makes me poor For christ's sake I've still got a north At first it made me cry Made me want to die But I don't know why Cause now I sit back and fly And it's clear and dry And I feel so high
20.
2007 00:57
When we fight we fight together We will brave most any weather Though dark is the night Neville leads us in the fight Now there's no time left to tarry Our hopes that boy must carry You will always be our Harry You will always be our Harry Harry Harry hey hey hey Loving that hero Harry Harry Harry hey hey hey Loving that hero Harry Harry Harry hey hey hey Loving that hero Harry Harry Harry hey hey hey Loving that hero Harry
21.
2008 01:27
Big bloody magnets under the ground Arranged as it were into a round Using up helium to keep it cool Making it so you are banned from sounding like a fool Making protons spin and making them dance Carefully controlled nothing left to chance We're looking for things that they've never seen Making things be that have never been But but but We've found Neutrons And we've found Protons We've found Electrons But we're not done That's not the one That's not the one That's not the one That's not the one And there are Leptrons And there are Quarks There are Guage Bosons And other larks That's not the one That's not the one That's not the one That's not the one Are you looking for Higgs? Are you looking for god?
22.
2009 01:09
Been there done that charged around Pushed it too hard underground The problem now is buried far too deep We can't try that game again Too many beams for us to bend We put the whole damn ring to sleep Budget says we carry on Burn it til the safety's gone But you know our time is running out Been there done that charged around Pushed it too hard underground Now we're just left with our doubt Next time I'll be gentler Next time I'll be gentler
23.
2010 01:31
Eyjafjallajökull Eyjafjallajökull Eyjafjallajökull I want to get out I want to leave I just want to go But we can't fly Through the grey snow I want to leave Leave leave leave I want to leave I want to fly Just get on the plane But we can't fly Through the grey rain You know I want to You know I need to I want it bad Need to get out I want to leave and they won't let me go This is just a bad holiday I want to leave and they won't let me go This is just a bad holiday This is just a bad holiday This is just a bad holiday
24.
2011 02:05
We're trying to settle down So to the abbey we drove around They told me it's a dream come true But this princess thing well it don't ring true My new mum she never smiles And every day is another trial I hate to say this out of the blue uninvited But I just can't take it and I can't hide it I hope you see my side and be reminded That it's meant to be love Never mind, I'll stay the course Or if you want I'll take the divorce I thought that this would be all of my dreams But sometimes it's true and sometimes it's not what it seems Sometimes it's true and sometimes it's not what it seems
25.
2012ish 01:25
Mark Watson time Mark Watson time Sitting in the Pleasance on Feb twenty-eight Don't know what is coming but I know we can't wait Twenty-five hours watching comics on stage Will we sit quite passive or will we fill with rage Rufus Hound breaks eggs But not with his legs Mark Watson time Mark Watson time

about

Created during Mark Watson's 25 Hour Comedy Marathon to raise money for Comic Relief.

Each track is inspired by an event in that year and based on a UK number one single from that year. Due to lousy signal, my only reference was a predownloaded set of the wikipedia pages for each year.

credits

released March 1, 2013

Lyrics, vocals, piano, autoharp, kazoo and toy piano: Robert Wells
Guitars: Parker Scottish Altered

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Once in a Moon UK

Robert Wells is a dabbler and a potterer residing in South London. This started as a challenge to write a new song every month (hence the name). He is also an actor, artist, technician and librarian.

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