1. |
1988
01:02
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I remember the day
And knowing it's coming I couldn't wait
The first red nose day
I asked my mum if I could stay up late
A day at school without a uniform
A plastic nose to keep my real nose warm
Aching to get away back to my home
Then I crash upon the sofa and I turn the TV on and then they say
You know you can't phone now
I know you want to give and I know it's hard
You know you can't phone now
You need to be eighteen with a credit card
Alas you can't phone now
Though Lenny Henry's telling you to give it all
You know you can't phone now
Just wait a decade then you can make that call
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2. |
1989
01:00
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Something's gotten hold of my eyes
Infinite channels beamed down from the sky
Something's gotten lodged in my brain
Watching the same shows again and again
Making me smile
Making me frown
Bringing me up
Dragging me down
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3. |
1990
01:46
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It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Waiting for this page to load
Watching a spinning ball go round and round
Still it doesn't load
Sitting here waiting thinking about that bastard
Tim Berners-Lee
He did a little coding and put up a hello world
It's still there for everyone to see
But nothing compares
Nothing compares to youtube
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to youtube
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4. |
1991
01:13
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One day, you're fighting with a monkey
that someone called a donkey
He put you through it
And you were doing it the way you do it
And then they take you to a kingdom
A princess that needs saving
You stomp on koopas
You are the Mario super
You are the one and only
The plumber who saves the peach
You are the one and only
Though she's always out of reach
You are the one and only
Fuelled on coins and shrooms
You are the one and only
And you will bring on Bowser's doom
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5. |
1992
01:08
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Deftly Disney in the middle East
Poor young boy staring as rich men feast
Pretty princess is a firebrand
Genie says "Take him by the hand"
Oh my love, riding high the land unfurls
Oh my love, join me as we see a whole new world
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6. |
1993
01:06
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Well they sent out Kirk in the Enterprise and he kissed the aliens
Jean Luc Picard he baldly went out into space
We thought it was over, but the fans they all said no
There's still more places left to boldly go
Let's boldly go there
All that they want is another series
So off to deep space
All that they want is a bit of Sisko
All that they want is another series
And then another
All that they want is another series
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7. |
1994
01:02
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Saturday night and those pants are looking tight
On you baby
Come back to bed and I'll leave you dressing light
Sorry baby
Saturday night and I like the way it looks
On you baby
Now it's been snipped on my mantle's where it's stuck
Pretty baby
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8. |
1995
00:46
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Tiny boy, tiger toy
Thought to himself oops I've got some chores to do
Got me some plans to brew
There's a duplicator so I'll see you later
And I'll play all day while you do all the stuff
Don't think one clone is enough
They'll all make more
Bursting through the door
So I live with a clone and a clone and a clone and another
A lot of little boys and they're closer than a brother
Got to get them gone so I'll fiddle with the duplicator
Make it transmogrify turn them all into flies see 'em later
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9. |
1996
00:47
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I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna
I wanna really really really want to catch a Mewtwo
If you wanna beat me
Better level up
You know the aim
To collect 'em up
You'll need a Squirtle
it isn't hard
Watch your back I'll burn you
With my Charizard
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna
I wanna really really really want to catch a Mewtwo
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10. |
1997
01:08
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There's a boy you've heard about who is strangely scarred
He's led a life where he never read Beedle the Bard
A Hairy guy comes bustling in to take him on a train
A whole new world of wizards, life will never be the same
Potter, Harry Potter
He's the one we've been waiting for
Potter, Harry Potter
He's the one who'll beat Voldemort
Potter, Harry Potter
He'll find a way
Potter, Harry Potter
He'll save the day
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11. |
1998
00:40
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Four colours on your CRT
On your CRT a minesweeper game
Your OS it's mostly the same
But you'll buy it again and again
Major system update Windows 98
You hope to integrate Windows 98
Everybody needs a pretty GUI
Everybody needs a gooey
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12. |
1999
00:53
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Dear Georgie baby
My childhood's in your hands
I've got a bad feeling
Oh Georgie baby
It's set in familiar lands
But it's just sent me reeling
Show me
My familiar trilogy
And don't change it
Cause you know I know that Han shoots first
Your ghost menace is killing me
But I, I still have hope, I still believe
You've got two parts left to fix this stink
Do the right thing
Kill that bastard Jar Jar Binks
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13. |
2000
00:57
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A beagle dog with a birdie chum
In the garden of a boy who's glum
Charge at the ball when the girl says start
Can you kick it? No you can't
Patty's loud, Marcie's not
Schroeder loves his music
Linus loves his blanket
You'll never make him lose it
Charlie Brown he needs something
He deserves something happening right
Maybe now he will speak to her
Maybe he will say tonight is the night
I just want to kiss the redhead
But I can't even say her name
When's it going to stop, redhead?
Cause it's making me feel so lame
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14. |
2001
01:06
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You spend your life hawking books
Now they're worthless
You say the height of the truth
We do better
You say all that you need
But we need more
You say we hold the keys
We say no sir
You say chance of abuse
We say fudge you
You say people are dumb
But we're smarter
You need pro editors
But we do fine
You say we need to pay
Now we're richer
We are the wiki
We keep on growing
Encyclopedic
All of the knowing
We are the wiki
Open the knowledge
Totally free
But we like when you pledge
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15. |
2002
00:33
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A little communication
A little less verbage
Tell my arm to move
Without no wordage
A little more spark
Between our arms
Step out of the dark
And into my charms
Feel my skin, my bone, my blood, my heart
Electrify me
Electrify me
Electrify me
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16. |
2003
01:10
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Every flight was perfect joy
Then suddenly I lost my toy
I wish I could go around
Take a trip at the speed of sound
You were beautiful no matter what they say
But they still brought you down
You were beautiful in every single way
And they still brought you down
But don't bring me down today
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17. |
2004
01:12
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Baby can't you see
Your request
I've not replied
You haven't guessed
You're dangerous
Without rest
Your face
Lack of friends
I add you
It all ends
Do you understand?
Oh the curse of your friendship on my life
You're toxic, I'd be lost
Oh desertion of friends I won't allow
I'm disgusted by you
Can't you see that you're toxic?
Oh the curse of your friendship on my life
You're toxic, I'd be lost
Oh desertion of friends I won't allow
I'm disgusted by you
Can't you see that you're toxic?
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18. |
2005
01:23
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Do you remember how it used to be?
You could have a conversation with nothing to see
Now each time we start to chat
You tell me about that video of a super cute cat
And I know that you just want to share
You're reaching for your phone because you care
And we're watching the dial go round
Loading it three times before we get sound
And it's holding up our life
And I wanted you for my wife
Can't you see that it will kill us?
I'm surprised that there is still us
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19. |
2006
01:22
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When you first found me
You brought me to the fold
Though I was cold
You were that bold
Then you left me
Out in the dark
Like a dog in the park
Left alone to bark
I was so lost back then
But I found a few new friends
I realised that your brush wasn't the end
Now you're calling me a dwarf
And you're saying that it makes me poor
For christ's sake I've still got a north
At first it made me cry
Made me want to die
But I don't know why
Cause now I sit back and fly
And it's clear and dry
And I feel so high
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20. |
2007
00:57
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When we fight we fight together
We will brave most any weather
Though dark is the night
Neville leads us in the fight
Now there's no time left to tarry
Our hopes that boy must carry
You will always be our Harry
You will always be our Harry
Harry Harry hey hey hey
Loving that hero Harry
Harry Harry hey hey hey
Loving that hero Harry
Harry Harry hey hey hey
Loving that hero Harry
Harry Harry hey hey hey
Loving that hero Harry
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21. |
2008
01:27
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Big bloody magnets under the ground
Arranged as it were into a round
Using up helium to keep it cool
Making it so you are banned from sounding like a fool
Making protons spin and making them dance
Carefully controlled nothing left to chance
We're looking for things that they've never seen
Making things be that have never been
But but but
We've found Neutrons
And we've found Protons
We've found Electrons
But we're not done
That's not the one
That's not the one
That's not the one
That's not the one
And there are Leptrons
And there are Quarks
There are Guage Bosons
And other larks
That's not the one
That's not the one
That's not the one
That's not the one
Are you looking for Higgs?
Are you looking for god?
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22. |
2009
01:09
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Been there done that charged around
Pushed it too hard underground
The problem now is buried far too deep
We can't try that game again
Too many beams for us to bend
We put the whole damn ring to sleep
Budget says we carry on
Burn it til the safety's gone
But you know our time is running out
Been there done that charged around
Pushed it too hard underground
Now we're just left with our doubt
Next time I'll be gentler
Next time I'll be gentler
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23. |
2010
01:31
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Eyjafjallajökull
Eyjafjallajökull
Eyjafjallajökull
I want to get out
I want to leave
I just want to go
But we can't fly
Through the grey snow
I want to leave
Leave leave leave I want to leave
I want to fly
Just get on the plane
But we can't fly
Through the grey rain
You know I want to
You know I need to
I want it bad
Need to get out
I want to leave and they won't let me go
This is just a bad holiday
I want to leave and they won't let me go
This is just a bad holiday
This is just a bad holiday
This is just a bad holiday
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24. |
2011
02:05
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We're trying to settle down
So to the abbey we drove around
They told me it's a dream come true
But this princess thing well it don't ring true
My new mum she never smiles
And every day is another trial
I hate to say this out of the blue uninvited
But I just can't take it and I can't hide it
I hope you see my side and be reminded
That it's meant to be love
Never mind, I'll stay the course
Or if you want I'll take the divorce
I thought that this would be all of my dreams
But sometimes it's true and sometimes it's not what it seems
Sometimes it's true and sometimes it's not what it seems
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25. |
2012ish
01:25
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Mark Watson time
Mark Watson time
Sitting in the Pleasance on Feb twenty-eight
Don't know what is coming but I know we can't wait
Twenty-five hours watching comics on stage
Will we sit quite passive or will we fill with rage
Rufus Hound breaks eggs
But not with his legs
Mark Watson time
Mark Watson time
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Once in a Moon UK
Robert Wells is a dabbler and a potterer residing in South London. This started as a challenge to write a new song every month (hence the name). He is also an actor, artist, technician and librarian.
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